Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
