I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
