ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
