Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
