Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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