making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
