words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
