i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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