We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
