phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
