tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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