What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
