Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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