But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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