I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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