Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
