kristin has been a bad kristin
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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