He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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