it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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