We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
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