Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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