Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
