I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
