And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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