I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
