Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
