So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I fill condoms, not promises.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
