New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
