Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
