There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
