does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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