....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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