Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Found the puke drawer
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
