ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
