He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize