too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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