Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
