i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
