Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize