ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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