You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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