In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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