Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so explain again why im purple
no
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
