somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
