i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
