We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
