I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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