i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i came on her dog
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
