had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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