i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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