I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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