Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Boobs speak an international language.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
