I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
