how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
