It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize