Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
